Youth and Condoms

Finding the right balance between trust and vulnerability can be a challenge when stepping into relationships. For youth just beginning to navigate the waters of relationships it can be an even bigger challenge. Every sub-culture has their own set of relationship rules, and youth are no different. You have probably heard of the 3-day call rule or 10 minute text rule. And once a relationship has moved past these initial stages there are still more rules!

Making the choice to become exclusive and monogamous is a step many youth take in a relationship. This monogamy is often followed by the 3 month rule. The 3 month rule means many couples will stop using condoms once they have been sexually exclusive for three months.

But who makes up all these rules? What are they actually based on? Why do some people feel safe giving up condoms after three months of exclusivity? There are two reasons that we frequently hear from the community:

1. I am not at risk. If you assume you are not at risk, why bother? But how do you define risk? Is it enough that you do not engage in sharing needles or have male-to-male anal sex? It is not uncommon for individuals to assume that HIV transmission only occurs in certain populations; populations they may not necessarily identify with. Of course, the best bet is to actually know your risks.
   
   
2. I trust my partner. This one is sticky because it’s natural to want to trust your sexual partner. In the glow of a new relationship, the idea of cheating seems very far off. Many times people are also uncomfortable openly discussing sex and their sexual history. Talking about safer sex and past safer sex practices is important, no matter how awkward it may be at first. Open lines of communication and respecting your partner are great building blocks of trust.

The most important reason for someone to feel comfortable modifying condom use would actually be: I understand the window period. The window period is the timeframe between the point of infection and the body’s ability to produce enough antibodies to show up on a test. It can take anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months after HIV enters the body to develop enough antibodies to be detected by an HIV test. You can be tested reliably at 3 months after a suspected point of infection. A test at 6 months will produce a result with 99% accuracy. Understanding and following the window period is critical if you have made the decision to engage in sex without condoms!

Another important point for youth just entering into the world of sexual relationships to remember is that condom use is about more than just HIV transmission. Condoms provide protection against a whole host of sexually transmitted infections.

Understanding risk, communicating with your partner and regular testing are key issues for youth engaging in sexual activities. Safer sex practices are not just reserved for the three month rule. They are designed to protect individuals regardless of where they lie on the risk continuum. Choosing to engage in sexual activity is a big step. The next big step is making sure you keep yourself safe and healthy!