“Jack and Jack” and the importance of talking to your children

One evening while making dinner, I looked up to see my six-year-old daughter watching TV with a very confused expression.

"What's wrong, hun?" I asked. "That man on the TV just said he was going to marry that other man," she replied.

The program was an interview with two American men discussing their plans to wed out of state – gay marriage was not allowed in their home state. "How can they get married, Mom? Aren't they two boys?"

To be frank, the thought of having this conversation with my daughter terrified me. As open-minded and liberal as I am; in that moment I had no idea what to tell her. How do I explain homosexuality to her? Is she too young to understand? Should I just skirt the issue until she's older? Despite my uncertainty, I just told the truth.

"Well you see, honey, sometimes boys fall in love with other boys and they choose to get married; just as boys and girls do. Sometimes two girls will fall in love and get married, too. A marriage doesn't always have to be a boy and a girl; a marriage is all about loving the person you are with, boy or girl."

I stared at my daughter, frozen, bracing myself for her reaction. With her beautiful eyes wide, my little girl looked up at me and said, "Oh! Okay Mommy. Is it alright if I go play until dinner is finished?" And just like that, she set off in search of her brother.

I stood there stunned. Is that it? No questions? Just like that, she gets it? That seems way too easy.

Unbeknownst to her, my daughter had taught me more about parenting in those five minutes than any cheesy parenting book ever did. She had shown me that our children can learn anything you want them to learn. Parents have the colossal responsibility of raising the next generation, and the opportunity to raise a generation of thoughtful, open-minded, and tolerant people.

I had the fear that countless other parents experience when it comes to talking to our children about sex and sexuality. How young is too young? When is it okay to start discussing these issues?

The truth is that your children are never too young for open and honest communication. An honest answer to a question will always be appropriate. We can take the opportunities that present themselves. We can show our kids that the world is a diverse place, a place where Jack can marry Jack and Jill can marry Jane. We can set the stage for a world where people are both allowed and entitled to be whoever it is that they want to be.

In the wake of countless tragic suicides of young gay teens – victims of peer bullying – now is certainly the time to pull together and talk to our children. Let’s take the opportunity to teach acceptance to our children, rather than teaching them that homosexuality is bad or avoiding the topic of sex and sexuality altogether.

This guest post was submitted by Ana M. Saskowski. Ana is a full-time mom and part-time student living in Sylvan Lake. Her AIDS Calgary Core Training attendance had a profound impact on her life and prompted her submissions to The A Word.