Recently one of our volunteers has agreed to go through the anonymous testing process at the Sheldon M Chumir Health Centre. Here is part one in this first hand account of their testing experience.
Testing; what comes to mind when I begin to think about this simple word?
Fear? Shame? Worry? Embarrassment? For me, mostly I feel obligation. Logically I know that I should have been tested and screened for STIs and HIV a long time ago. So what exactly has prevented me from being tested up until this point?
To be honest with you, it was a combination of assuming that I was being tested at my annual pap test, along with the assumption that I was STI free. To clarify, my inner dialogue went something like this, “Well, you’ve only been with two people; your first partner was a virgin when you met him, and your second partner was tested and came back negative.” Now, I know that we all like to believe that we are not susceptible to believing our own internal denial, but I think that this example of inner monologue portrays the frightening sense of ignorance still present in all of us, even if we can’t admit it.
As I described earlier, assuming your test results before your test can be a very dangerous game to play. Yes, my first partner and I were virgins when we met one another; however, he could have easily transmitted genital herpes through oral sex if he had cold sores; and yes, my second partner told me that he was “clean”, but what does that even mean?? Was he tested for HIV? How can I be sure? Did my partner know that you must specifically request an HIV test when being tested for STIs? There is also the possibility of being infected with Syphilis, as it can be transmitted simply through skin to skin contact…There are so many variables to think about!
So let me tell you, I may assume that I am in the clear, but given all of the contributing factors, I have to admit that I simply will not know what my status is with out a test. It’s not knowing that I find incredibly frightening, and very dis empowering. The one thing that I have learned through out my time as a volunteer at AIDS Calgary is that I may have assumed I was in control of my sexual health, but without being tested I was not being honest with myself.
With all of this spinning through my head over the last few months, I have reluctantly agreed to be AIDS Calgary’s latest guinea pig, but more importantly I’m looking forward to empowering myself with knowledge of my sexual health status. In saying that, I have agreed to request a full anonymous test at the STI Clinc. I am in the process of preparing myself to completely irritate the STI Clinic employees as they have not conducted a full blown anonymous test in approximately ten years. Yes, you have heard me correctly, ten years. Why hasn’t anyone requested an anonymous test in so long? What exactly does “anonymous testing” mean anyway? Why did AIDS Calgary specifically want me to get an anonymous test versus a confidential walk in exam like everyone else? What’s the difference? But mostly, why did I ever agree to do this??
Please stay tuned until April, when I will recount my testing experience and hopefully have the answers to these questions and more!
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