Language online: subtle racism or just shorthand?

I have wanted to write this article ever since attending the Gay Men’s Sexual Health Conference in Toronto last year and listened to a presentation addressing racism in Gay and MSM that was presented by a colleague and well know community HIV advocate. The presentation was based mainly in his own personal experiences and observations as a man of colour who felt that recognizing and acknowledging racism is a reality in Gay and MSM communities and noting the best example of this can be seen in online postings that many Gay and MSM are using to meet, develop friendship and seeking sexual partners etc.
At first I thought this was somehow farfetched but as he continued with the presentation and began pointing out the ways that “racism” and inappropriate references are becoming the norm in onsite postings I began to hear some of what he was trying to tell us. Some of the language choices may be due to the limited amount of characters one may have for their opening tag line or for the message itself and may lead individuals to use an abbreviated and often acronym (short hand for lack of a better word) based language to provide details of what one may be looking for when online.

I have to admit that there are times when I am reading the profiles of people online I become quickly offended at the choices of language and words some have chosen to express their personal preferences in partners although more often than not they are representative of what the person IS NOT looking for rather than describing what they ARE looking for. It is often like reading a used car ad in the paper where you need to figure out what PW, ABS, PB, PS, all mean when trying to determine what the car options are. That said it can be an effective way of selling a car however maybe not the most effective way of sharing your personal preferences in potential partners.
As a person living with HIV for a number of years now; I have found and continue to find the most offensive statements being “clean” or any other reference to the term “clean” when referring to another persons’ HIV or STI status. Personally I, like most others I know, bathe, wash, brush their teeth, deodorize, and do all the other “hygienic” things that I think mean “clean”.
Another favorite term for many is “dd free UB2”(Drug and disease free, you be too) implying that perhaps people who are living with an STI are out to get others and infect them or making the assumption that everyone knows their HIV and STI status making for questionable assumptions on ones’ own or another’s HIV or STI status. Window periods and many other factors need to be considered when speaking of HIV and other STI’s. I find the majority of HIV positive people are upfront about their status and are often attacked online for daring to promote wanting sex at all, but that is another topic in itself.
The derogatory descriptors continue with many falling into negative tones such as: NO fems, fatties, druggies, rice queens, queens, coloured, twinks, or trans, and do nothing to promote a positive image or feeling for the many online who may see themselves as being targeted and marginalized by these descriptive categories.
Would it not be easier to say what we are looking for clearly and focus on positive descriptions for what we prefer or seek rather than reinforcing negative and somewhat stereotypical and stigmatizing references to particular members of our DIVERSE GAY and MSM community? What ever happened to inclusion and respect for all our diversity especially within a community often demonized and stigmatized by so many others?

I would like to end by suggesting that we all take a moment to look at some of our personal postings and consider our choices of language, words, and descriptions we use or have chosen and challenge ourselves to change what could be considered offensive, if not downright racially provocative towards another people, group or gender and instead post positive, clear and supportive messages that will only increase tolerance, understanding and respect.