Telo Talk

I’ll admit it, I’m more comfortable volunteering to stuff four hundred condom packs at AIDS Calgary then submitting an article on what’s happening with safe sex in Argentina. But I’m certainly willing to take a crack at Sex and the City, Buenos Aires style.

On my first day in Buenos Aires, I stumbled upon a tourist attraction: El Oblesco. The Obelisk is a smooth, 180 metre phallic shaped structure that’s hard to miss! Locals say it represents their society: passionate, undeniably sexual and even freely promiscuous. I was definitely not in Canada any more. What other cultural quirks would I discover here?

Many weeks later, during a bus ride, my friend “Maria” pointed out one of those quirks. It was a plain unmarked building with a small neon sign advertising: “transitorio”. Welcome to the not so secret underground world of the Buenos Aires Telo.

Telo: (TAY-LOW) noun, a very discreet hotel where you pay by the hour for a safe, secure, and private place to engage in sexual activities.

My friend “Alejandro” tells me that in the 80's Argentines had a way of talking by breaking the words into syllables and then reversing it. Telo comes from the word hotel. Turn around hotel to get telho, silence the ‘h’ and you get telo.

For us more reserved Canadians, the idea may sound a bit brow raising. When you find out how they are used and by who you can begin to understand that these legal establishments provide a very practical service.

Argentines can and do live with their parents until they secure a well paying job or get married. I discovered this when I went on a few dates with a thirty-six year old man who owned his own business, car, two computers...and lived with his mother. Enter the Telo.

Telos are for everyone; young lovers, older lovers, parents looking for an escape from small apartments, and even co-workers looking for a nooner...

Have I mentioned that Argentines keep odd hours? Clubs here can be open until nine the next morning! With over three million people in the city, you can imagine that there are a lot of club hoppers drinking, dancing, and romancing their nights and mornings away. Post fiesta telo anyone? But remember a telo is not only for the 2:00 am booty call (although prices and availability on weekends usually inflates). Telos provide services twenty-four hours a day.

There are many types of telos, from two star to first class, plain Jane to themed and decked out. Along with the bible in the nightstand are complimentary condoms. Have no fear that your friends, family members or co-workers will see you enter a telo because there is an unmarked door that slides opens for your car to drive through and a window to place your order.

In her own search for privacy, “Maria” visited a telo with her long-term lover. While not necessarily swinging from the chandeliers awesome, she said it wasn’t seedy and their encounter was successful. For “Alejandro” telos are not only about convenience and functionality... they are for FUN, pure and simple.

Literally at this very moment, I am staring out of the corner of my eye at a good looking middle-aged couple sitting across from me displaying generous amounts of PDA and I am tempted to whisper, “Get a telo!”

Buena suerte planning your first experience to an Argentine telo! And as I always say, safety first.

This guest post was submitted by AIDS Calgary volunteer, Melanie Merwin. To read more about Mel’s adventures in Beunos Aires, visit her blog at http://web.me.com/melmerwin/My_Roadtrip_to_Awesome/Blog/Blog.html


What do you think about the idea of telos? Will the telo ever come to Canada?